Do men actually think we girls sit together in a coffee shop for hours and discuss our lives? CAUSE THEY’RE RIGHT! Well they’re right for the first time ever as far as I can remember because we don’t on a normal day but some days be the exception to our general rule – HAPPY STUFF ONLY UNLESS SAD STUFF NECESSARY.
We were helping Pipi with her teaching stuff one afternoon cutting stereo foam bunnies holding a book (WHAT) in a cafe that we chose which specifically had huge tables and many chairs so we can work in peace LOL and other kindergarten stuff-
p/s: Pipi is a kindergarten class teacher and she loves her job which naturally makes her go all the way for it even when she isn’t required to. EVERYBODY SHOULD BE LIKE PIPI.
So Emi and I were helping her out and we had occasional stops to check our phone and busily message each other’s boyfriend (mine is imaginary, i check e-mails and twitter but pretend they’re my boyfriend(s) HAH)
A half hour into it Pipi thankfully said thank you for being so supportive in her career and I so casually replied don’t know what but something within eh *giggle* or something around the lines of its fun anyway trying to cut short this emo bit. IM SUCH A BAD FRIEND ): ): but Pipi was totally fine with it..well i think she was HAHAHA. Emi and I continued cutting stuff from circles and triangles that were going to be made into a big sun stuck on the wall with velcro. Apparently the circles and triangles will second as a way for Pipi to teach them shapes too…. If this is not hard work I don’t know what is. I’m sweating from the mere thought of it -.-
Pipi was suppose to go to law school with me btw but she totally ditched pfft i guess now i know why!!!!! hahaha her heart is always for something a lot more….cute/noble hehe.
A few hours later Tiera arrived and brought a tub of Milo Ice-Cream into a cafe…..that I’m pretty sure would prefer no outside food but life is too short for rules I suppose….#thuglife
We talked and worked and cut more stuff and eventually talked more than we worked which was ok because we were done hehehe. AND THEN LIFE HAPPENED. Tiera brought up : Sometimes it feels a bit empty right? Life. Like you want some things to be different. Not everything only some.
I ALMOST FELL OFF MY HUGE CHAIR THAT IF I I DID I WOULD NOT HAVE AN EXCUSE BECAUSE A BIG FOOT COULD NOT FALL OFF FROM SUCH A STABLE HUGE CHAIR….COUCH….
And then I wanted to cut her off also like I did Pipi…. but decided not to and agreed with her, slowly nodding my head.
Dead I thought…So picked up my phone and starting staring at the icons hahahahahaha thinking to myself how true her statement was, I did in fact wished some things were different, wondered what if i did some things differently and these are things that have lived in me for many many many many many years, things that I’ve never pondered upon, by choice.
Slowly it became a little circle that we had and we started talking about regrets if we had, what we wish would be different in our lives, our struggles be it unnoticed or not (in more depth as we are all aware briefly of the problems we face but never talked much about it), and we got to do things again how would we have done it. AND I FELL FOR THIS LITTLE TRUST CIRCLE!!!!!! Don’t get me wrong I trust these girls with my life and everything but you know what they say about opening up that chest of things i wish was different..it feels good/liberating when you’re amongst your closet but when you turn your lights off at night….it stays with you for the longest of time.
Caught myself feeling a little bit…..sad. We all get sad sometimes right?
I spoke out loud of my regrets… and achieving things I’ve always wanted only for it to feel so normal and unhappy or at least not as happy as I thought I should/would be. Of the love I lost because I was too young because we were too young.
I have always been afraid of many things, of not achieving the level of success I want for myself and of course in this particular sense financial stability, only to have something to warm my heart.
“You’ve always been made for success, you’ve always known what you wanted and you’ve always gone out to get it.”
Alhamdullilah I’ve always had it within me, I thought, Amin to her thoughts on me.
But all of the things I’ve been very very very terrified about, something stood out, have always stood out, although quietly, very very sharply at times. What if I gained all the financial success God has set for me but don’t find the right person to share my life with? It feels like I never will. Is this a quarter life crisis thing because I’ve felt this way my whole life…HAHAHA OMG HELP MY POURING EMOTIONS SHOOT THEM HELP ME BY SHOOTING THEM DOWN.
Or what if I find that person thinking it is that person and it turns out he isn’t and we have family and it doesnt work out ten years down the road either one of us walks out the door being oh so done. Not to sound like the biggest pessimist but that happens and that happens a lot…..
WELL IF THAT HAPPENS IM TAKING THE KIDS AND MIGRATING TO AMERICA DESPITE TRUMP AND BUYING MORE HANDBAGS AND SHOES TO FORGET MY MISERY AND DATE A CK MODEL. THATS WHAT I WILL DO *crosses arms* hehehehe
Enough about me and my syok sendiri.
I’ve always known that I’m surrounded by strong willed individuals, people that will make good and only good happen in this world, God knows how much we need it but being in this momentary literal circle of trust it opened my eyes to how strong Pipi has been….as a person, sister, daughter….as a human. How she has kept herself together through the ordeals her family had to face (something which isn’t my story to tell). She has grown into such a selfless and determined young lady the past year while keeping her cheeks HAHA and cheekiness that has always been what made people (MEN I MEAN MEN NOT PEOPLE NOT GENERAL PEOPLE OR WOMEN LIKE US BUT MEN) attracted everyone to her. A gem, truly.
Then there’s Emi who has a story which isn’t mine to tell either….but…..no words. Zero. My entire life of being friends with Emi she never uttered a word about how someone is unless of course its only reasonable that she does or you know she’s angry. We’ve all got limits but naturally she is just one a kind. Always listening, always. Keeping her comments to herself and….on top of it all I realised loves her family more than anything else this life has to offer. Its so hard to tell a lot more because then I’ll be giving away things I should be giving away cause CIRCLE OF TRUST but my eyes are all wet just from the thought of it!!! ): ): ):
Tiera…I don’t even know what is she made of…pure patience and love? I REALLY DONT KNOW HOW IS IT POSSIBLE SHE LOVES SO WHOLLY!!!!!!!! When giving she gives her all never holding back, NEVER. Not even after being so bruised by life and its way of biting you in the ass when you’re not looking. If there’s anyone we should security/background/character/sincerity check for 365 (or make it an extra one day for crash interrogation) days it would be Tiera’s future husband cause truly..any man that Tiera decides to spend her life with is really the luckiest man in this whole wide world. I’ve never met anyone that has the capability to love and give sincerely as much as she does.
We then continued to sip our coffee, me on my ice tea because one can only have waaaaay to much coffee before bed… wiped our tears that glittered because i like to believe my friends and i are low-key magical creatures, slowly packed up…talked about our plans for tomorrow..wished Pipi good luck with her class (PIPI IS ALSO A CLASS TEACHER BTW!!!!!!!!! MUCH COOL) and said goodbye as we were all driving home separately.
What a drive home it was that night…..
I love my magical creature friends.