Woopsie Daisy, can’t believe i’ve left miu-lk unattended for so long. Been somewhat occupied with…figuring things out and so far, its been ah-ma-zing! I’ve started training again, collecting as many miles as i can daily and been really content with life as a whole too. If you’ve been with me throughout the past couple of months, you’d notice minor details on people I talk about..such is life. People come and go and you’d have to be okay with it. So, hope you’re as okay with it as i am. I have learned so much during this time of being away and this post is a brief dedication to the couple of weeks i’ve had.
I think in the event of a sudden change in life be it the existence of individuals or life as it happens generally- we panic. I know i did. I panicked as soon as I realised what I thought was constant was just a couple of months of hangover- or not. Okay maybe not a hangover but something borrowed, if i may..
God, constants are great aren’t they?
But so are changes, maybe not initially, but eventually,
I don’t know if this post will come back to haunt me many many years in the future but love is a basic yet most complicated human emotion isn’t it? I’ve felt it- this love they talk about. I’ve felt it in its most basic context and shame(maybe not) in the most complicated way possible. Probably not yet with all I have, with all of me but I’ve felt this unconditional love they talk about. The one that makes forgiving so easy, the one that makes us choose being awake instead of being asleep cause… suddenly reality is better than your dreams.
In this version of reality, you constantly pat yourself in the back while thinking how you’ve made it, you of all people that are in search of their better half, have made it. You don’t get lost in how they glow when they speak about something, getting lost was meant for crushes- you listen, more than you’ve ever listened in your entire life, and you learn about new passions. You don’t get lost, you listen.
You don’t try to fix your life around to fit theirs anymore. You do your life and they do theirs because no matter how far you find yourself strayed, you’ll find your way back.
You don’t split the bill anymore- whoever takes the cash out first, pays . Because? It…balances out.
It balances out, and thats how you know.
BUT SOMETIMES EVEN WHEN YOU KNOW, YOU MAY WAKE UP ONE DAY AND NOT KNOW AND THAT IS OKAY. IT. IS. OKAY.
Crazy-to think that in this entire world, someday..some ordinary day you’d start having another conversation or a first exchange of hello’s with the person you might end up spending the rest of your life with. Crazy and beautiful. (so make sure you always look 100% lol, wouldn’t want anyone running towards the other direction -.-“)
You may have loved and you may have lost. Its how it is. One day you’ll love again, like you’ve never lost and you’ll win, eventually. Its how it will be.
If it feels like it’ll never happen- throw all your faith in, pray to God, be the best person version of yourself, don’t hold back and know that it will. It always will. I sound hopeless but where is the joy in discovering life and love if you’re not? Be fearless *cue Taylor Swift*, be so fearless even when you’re so hurt and tired.
We after all, really truly only live once and we’ve got to make it count.
I’m making it count. I’m holding on. My momentary daze is over, not gone forever and I may have moments where I ponder about what I may have lost but I’m embracing uncertainty and when it feels like my old kiasu self is back, i’ll try harder, i promise HEHE.
Oh and happy 2016 everybody! Work so hard your limbs ache, love so passionately you forget you’ve been creepily smiling and stay healthy!