Today a friend told me the worst story.. she had (may still be having) an affair with a guy that she knew was in a relationship. I was upset…I was beyond upset..in fact i judged her actions. Disappointment escalated into anger in a split second.
Why was I so angry..so hurt by her actions when it I wasn’t even a part of this whole mess?
I was angry because who in the right mind (especially those who know how it feels like to get cheated on) would not be upset knowing their friend is now one of them.. one of the women out there who couldn’t be bothered to respect two people in a relationship pfft. Have some sense of integrity will you not? But i guess that is what people who do this to other people is lacking in, self respect and integrity. Be ashamed, all of you, those who cheat and the ones they cheat with. Yes, this applies to even my friend and she knows that.
Why would you do that? Why would you hurt another person in whatever way…intentionally. Are you not aware the man you are spending your time with has probably promised the entire world to this woman (that you know exist)? You are with your knowledge taking away happiness from another person and that is not cool and that is not at all lady like of you.
(Excuse the extreme bashing on women in this context because i am obviously speaking of my experience today and probably with a hint of bitterness from the past lol)
She then asked me.. “What do i do know?”
The guy has now decided that she was a mistake and will be leaving her and their little sneak arounds. He came clean about his affair with his current girlfriend and is now fixing their relationship (as far as i know with my friend’s story)
I answered, “What do you mean what do you do?”
“You leave, you don’t exist around him anymore, you disappear but before you do that, apologise to the other woman.”
“Instead of sitting around sulking and declaring heartache on this situation, reflect on your actions. You may have just ruined someone else’s relationship.”
And i started crying… angrily crying because I was imagining what it must feel like to be the other woman.. the one who deserves to be heartbroken and the one who should in all her power be angry.
“But we’re friends and i can’t apologise… why should i…?”
Here is why I think the other woman (the one lacking in self respect and integrity when it comes to someone else’s relationship) should apologise, and not in a send your pathetic sorry notes through the guy you cheated with but instead talk to her, reach out and apologise.
You may be ignored, you may never get a reply, you may even get yelled at or you may witness a crying young lady but… apologise anyway. Apologise sincerely because that is what you should do. You should be sorry for hurting another person. You should apologise for possibly stealing happiness away from another person. Forget about the fact that they would have not have ended up together anyway because these decisions are not yours to decide, its theirs.
“You should pray to God day and night that the person you’ve hurt decides to forgive you and the first step you should take is reach out because I swear if you have enough in you as a person, you’ll live with this for the rest of your life and don’t you ever ever ever dare declare heartache, thats her right, not yours.”
“But what if they’re okay already, and he left me anyway…”
Great if they’re okay. What a great person she must be but apologise anyway.. apologise anyway to the one you’ve wronged.
And the guy… why even bother pfft. What a loser loser loser.